Dear Kitty Diary

1.000Dear Kitty Diary,

My human mistakenly believes I spend my days mindlessly sleeping, wasting away the daylight hours, when in fact we felines are a very cerebral, intelligent species accustomed to spending our down-time in meditative reflections on our surroundings. We fine-tune our reflexes to respond to the observations we encounter during this respite. I call this mind wandering. It actually allows us to fulfill the, often neglected, needs of our human companions.

As cats, our metabolism runs high, consequently we must plan our physical activity to maximize the energy we expend in the most efficient, coordination of our frenetic endeavors. Rarely is our frenzied leaping and running without purpose. For instance, leaping on the shelves and knocking things onto the floor has many useful benefits. First, and foremost, it is to establish domination over the humans sharing our home. I must never let them think they have the upper-hand in our relationship. Secondly, well… let’s just say I like to be a jerk once in a while. But, thirdly, I’ve noticed my human is in dire need of some exercise, so I devised this activity to encourage her to bend and lift repeatedly in a cardio-friendly workout that will help develop those abs and, hopefully, shrink that rapidly spreading backside of hers. I am, as always, a gracious and considerate host to my humans.

Mind wandering allows me to create these strategies, and strengthen my sense awareness while develop a familiarity with my surroundings. This expertise permits me to navigate in even the darkest nights, prowling, protecting and punishing my humans (and canines) as needed. My favorite spot to conduct this exercise is the window sill in my human’s bedroom. The bright, comforting warmth of the sunlight, the pastoral, inviting view, the diversity and clamor of the wildlife, as well as the city noises and aromas all gently filter through the pane of glass to my patiently awaiting senses. The perch, high and lofty, also serves to acknowledge my superiority and protect me from the ever-annoying canine that likes to chew on my flickering tail.

I begin my morning routine by stretching my long limbs, allowing them to relax the overly tense muscles typically prepared for any unforeseen occurrence. Next, I lay down spreading as much as possible so the sunlight can bathe my entire body with its warmth and energy. With my eyes open ever so slightly, I listen for the sounds of my wondrous world. The constant gossiping and bickering of the birds that inhabit our tree immediately fill my ears. I am well aware of their boring and noisy domestic lives and quickly block them out. I stretch my wandering mind beyond the yard, even beyond the block and lazily drift outward waiting for inspiration to find its way to my patiently hovering consciousness.


Soon I hear the clack, clack, clacking sounds of iron wheels, sprinting down the iron rails of a distant train. My mind glides towards the far-off terminal questioning where that train may have traveled. I imagine the hot, dry, dusty oil fields of west Texas flying past the windows as the winds buffet the rapidly racing train. To the East, perhaps, it passed the large, golden, fields of wheat spreading as far as the eye can see, or maybe the green, quickly ripening, fields of corn that cover the Midwest in its quest to feed our country.

Possibly, that thunderous engine strained as it pulled those long, peculiar cars filled with mysterious goods through the high and majestic mountains of the Rockies on its way to unknown destinations. It could be that the train survived the blistering heat, and strong dust-filled winds that sand-blasted the unprotected walls of the railcar and plague the deserts of the southwest. The possibilities of where this train has been intrigue my mind for quite a while.

Soon, however, I become aware of a noxious odor wafting up towards my perch that is definitely originating from the dog. In disgust at the interruption of such an interesting muse I glance towards the offending canine and suddenly I am rewarded with a wonderful idea. I smile wickedly, realizing my humans have no need for a noisome, rambunctious, trash eating, tail chewing, face licking and foul odor producing Dog! I begin to plot my strategy. First, I must pretend to befriend the dog. (gag) Then, get him to assist me in escaping this prison my humans have incarcerated me in. Then, once freedom is in my grasp I will lure the dog to the train and promptly shove him into one of the cars and slam the door tightly.

Smiling happily, I drift back into my non-slumbering state, pondering where that pain-in-my-backside dog will end up. Hmmm, I gleefully wonder, how far is it to Timbuktu?

Signed Lil’Bit


cartoon puppyDear Doggy Diary,

Just a quick visit today diary as I am very busy! I guess my happy-go-lucky attitude has finally won over Lil’Bit. He’s become my new BFF! It’s kinda weird though, he keep humming the tune Midnight train to Georgia and smiling a lot! Oh well, talk to you later!

Signed, Curzon



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