Dear Kitty Diary, Lil’Bit
Today I reclaimed my dominance over the misguided humans that believe they are in control. My male human decided to close himself away from me in a futile attempt to ignore my demands for loving. He went into the bathroom and shut the door in my face! Can you believe the impudence of such rude behavior?
Little did he know I have master the art of opening that door! Ha! I showed him! I began leaping up to the knob until I had managed to grip it tightly in my paws. Then, I began swinging back and forth until the door knob released its unyielding grip. Click, I heard, as it gave way to my natural intelligence. Next I swung the door open slightly giving me the opportunity to drop to the floor and push it open with my forehead.
My human looked at me with a small amount of irritation, and a large amount of wonder that I had somehow managed to open the door and invade his privacy. I glared at him demanding he acknowledge my superior status in the household, then promptly walked over to his clothing pooled around his ankles and stepped into his boxers claiming victory over his submission.
I began rubbing my head against his legs insisting he give me the head rub I so deserved while simultaneously chastising him for thinking he had the right to exclude me from any fragment of my kingdom. He mistakenly told me I was weird as he picked me up and succumbed to my demands. I disagreed, I am not weird, I am resourceful when needed.
I still must master the art of opening the backdoor so I may free myself from this prison of an apartment. Although I have subdued the skill enough to nudge the backdoor open I am still thwarted in my attempt by the infuriating screen upon the outside door. Freedom is so close I can almost taste it! Bird feasts and chipmunk chases await my success in this endeavor. But my persistence and determination know no boundaries, and I am confident in my eventual attainment of my goal.
Good bye for now Dear Diary, I am off to practice on the screen door,