Dear Kitty Diary #5

1.000Dear Kitty Diary,

Well things have started to settle into a routine here at the new place. My human still won’t let me outside but I’m learning to cope. Belle has staked her claim to the brown recliner in the bedroom. She climbs up inside and sleeps the day away hidden within the dark realms of foam and upholstery, except for our usual nap together in the sun of the early morning by the back door. For my self, I prefer to stick with my human pretty much all the time.

Although, the view from the shower window is rather enticing, even though its often wet. I get a kick out of shoving all the shampoo, conditioner and miscellaneous things off the shelf and listening to them banging loudly in the tub. There’s this thing called a loofah that is a blast to play with. I’ve managed to steal three so far and shred them to threads. It’s kinda weird carrying it around in my mouth though. It tastes funny and it tends to get stuck on my teeth. My human thinks its funny. She’s kinda weird too.

My favorite part of the day has become the early morning when my human first wakes up. She feeds me, then makes coffee for herself. Then we’ll both sit by the screen door and watch the sunrise. She calls it her quiet time. I call it the backyard wilderness show. There’s this giant tree back there I am dying to climb. And it’s full of birds.

There are grey ones, black ones, yellow and tan ones and these itty-bitty birds that look like they’re standing still when they fly. My human calls those hummingbirds. Amazing. There is also a family of chipmunks that live in the cemetery across the alley that come over and steal the birdseed my human throws out to the birds. The birds get a bit upset at this and there is generally a fun battle to watch between them all.

This mornings show had me enthralled. I climbed onto my human’s lap and settled in to watch as she sipped slowly on her coffee. I became so involved in the show I forgot I was inside. As the birds flittered around the ground scratching for seed and chasing the chipmunks, my instincts began to gain strength as I watched. First my ears started rotating with every chirp, much like a ballerina dancing on a music box.

My chin soon began to quiver as I chatted towards those delicious looking chipmunks. I began envisioning a wondrous meal of hummingbird appetizers follow by an entrée of grey dove and chipmunk heads and finishing with a dessert of the noisome bob-white that calls out through out the day. I was drooling in anticipation.

Soon my hind-end began to lift slightly as my back legs tensed in preparation. My head lowered, and my ears laid back as I began to nervously twitch back and forth jockeying for the best launch position. My front claws dug in as I saw my prey come closer and closer to the back stoop. The eagerness which drove my instincts blocked out all other distractions as I poised myself for the attack. Suddenly, my prey was within inches of the door and I threw myself towards my victim……

Did I mention it was a screen door?

I slammed full force and face first into that screen. My human exploded into laughter spewing disgusting coffee all over the screen door as well as my mesh imprinted fur! Well, of course I couldn’t allow my dignity to be besmirched by my foolishness. So, I held my head high as I walked slowly away, cleaning the coffee from my backside and restoring the flattened fur to it’s natural state of beauty.

My human did not see my blush of embarrassment as I listened to the birds cackling in laughter at my misfortune. I walked into the living-room and just to show my human it’s not good to laugh at me, I promptly jumped onto the shelf and “accidently” shoved off everything on the floor.

My bad!

I should go get Belle out of the recliner so we can take our morning nap together. I think I’ll avoid sitting in the sun by the back door today though. I’ll tell Belle it’s because my human spilled her coffee and it’s all sticky back there. Yeah, that’ll work.


PS. My human has asked me, to ask my readers to comment if they like reading my diary. She says feedback is always pleasant. Diary, isn’t feedback the same as fur balls? Cuz those ain’t pleasant at all!


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