Jan 15, 2014

                Tonight I attended my third Bible study class.  I am a new Christian.  New in the sense that I had finally come to the truth about what it means to be a Christian.  We discussed faith tonight.  Faith was defined as complete trust.  This is a concept difficult for me to comprehend, as it is for many I suspect.  I’ve decided to keep this journal as a means of documenting my voyage towards faith.

Let me explain a few things for you, the reader.  One of the things we contemplated this evening was surrendering to faith.  Something that stood out was to offer your gifts to God.  I enjoy writing.  It may not be much of a gift but it is something I enjoy.  I am offering my humble gift to God and hopes he appreciates my offering.  It is my prayer that He will use my writing to fulfill His desire.

I don’t have an easy life.  I have many difficulties to overcome, but the reality is that every human being has problems to contend with.  That’s the thing about faith, overcoming difficulties, regardless of what they are, is a path that must be taken in order to find faith.  Faith cannot exist without obstacles.  Just as an answer is meaningless without a question to answer, faith is the answer to the question of difficulties.

It seems to me that growing into faith is similar to growing up from a child into an adult.  So I will keep this journal allowing you to journey along with me as I grow in my Faith.

This is a copy of an entry I made a few nights after I was saved.

I’ve been a “Christian” for many, many, many years.  I’ve been saved for just a few days.  I know the “rules, regulations and requirements” for being a Christian.  What I lacked until that pivotal moment was the truth of belief and faith.

That’s quite a thesis statement isn’t it?  It is a statement that I feel would be recognized by many though.  Let me explain.  Logically, I have lived a long enough time on this earth to see the evidence and form the opinion that something was supernaturally influencing human beings on this planet.  I have heard the arguments that all things can be explained at some point in time scientifically once we gain enough knowledge to clarify and understand the phenomenon.  At the core of this argument however is the question of how and why mankind exists as a sentient being.

A person needs only to look upon a painting or a piece of artwork to understand that something sparked in a supernatural manner to create that piece of art. The natural world does not share this trait with mankind.  Nature creates works of art daily that mankind is capable of appreciating however; the reason for that artwork created by nature is a development to fulfill a purpose.  For instance the vibrant or subtle color of a flower is dictated by the needs of the natural world.  Certain colors attract needed elements for survival or propagation.  Bees for example are often attracted to certain flowers by certain colors.  And in opposition harmful insects are often repelled by other colors.

Nature creates this singularity for a specific scientific purpose.  Mankind, however, creates works of art to fulfill a spiritual need.  It is this spirituality and the inherent need felt by man that sets us apart from the natural world.  No other species, flora or fauna exhibits this attribute.  It is reserved for mankind alone.  Logic then would dictate that mankind was created to fulfill a purpose that specifically included spirituality.

It is because of this logic I have been a Christian for many years.  I had the logical belief that there was some being or entity that set mankind aside for some spiritual reasoning.  I did not truly comprehend the purpose of why.  I had heard testimony from many about how God came into their lives but had never felt Him close to me.  I adopted a “fake ‘til you make it” attitude in hopes that one day I might truly understand.

Why then do I say I have been “Saved” for only a few days?  Well, that is a matter of the heart.  It is one thing to logically, understand, comprehend or scientifically believe something.  It is a totally different understanding when there is a perception and awareness that an omniscient, omnipotent entity not only hears your thoughts and prayers, but He responds and acknowledges you as an individual.  When He hears your prayer and responds in a manner that is meant for you and you alone the reality is overwhelmingly humbling.

Suddenly you become aware.  Aware that the stories, myths or legends, however you want to categorize them, are based in truth. They are based in reality. They have meaning.  There truly is a reason for you, not the collective you but the person that inhabits your skin alone.  You are meant to be here in this world at this place and this time.  I became aware that I have not only a purpose but a responsibility. I was created with forethought and necessity.  I was not just a random clash of insignificant happenings that placed me here.

This realization when experienced is intimidating and frightening. But those emotions paled in comparison to the reality of the joy and relief that I felt in response to the knowledge that God genuinely does care for, and about, an insignificant person like me.

There is a distinctive difference between being a Christian and being Saved.  It is easy to act like a Christian.  But it is only through the Grace and Love of Christ that we can be Saved and then “Be” a Christian.

In my case, and I suspect in many other as well, I had to lose everything of value I held in my life only to see that the one thing that I had never lost, and that I would never lose was the love that God held for me and for me alone.  It had been there all along I simply had not seen it because my focus was on other things of little or no value.  God came to me and said “Don’t be afraid, I’m still here, I’ve always been here.  I have been here waiting for you to find me.” It was this awareness that saved me.


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