Hiatus

English: Chocolate cake with chocolate frostin...

English: Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting topped with chocolate shavings, misocrazy (flikr) http://www.flickr.com/photos/misocrazy/234833296/, attribution required (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I want to offer up an apology for my absence.  Alas, at times the complexities and burdensome responsibilities of life interfere with our pursuits of pleasure.  I have been exceptionally busy and involved with the most important of endeavors!  Oh who am I kidding…? I got addicted to watching Netflix marathons!

I was finally able to watch all those missing episodes of Lost that at last explained the confusing and odd ending!  It may have taken several days of earnest viewing to accomplish that goal but I am tenacious.  However, I’m still a little confused but that tends to be normal for me.

I did finish the show and moved on to more and more series marathons.  It was about the 19th straight hour of a Bones marathon session when I realized that I had a real life.  I looked up, and with no small amount of shame, viewed the squalor of my home and turned off Netflix!

So now the laundry has been washed and folded, the dishes washed, dried and put away and the trash taken to the dumpster, (I eat way too much take out by the way!)  My bed has been made, my cats fed and litter changed and finally a long shower to finish my cleaning spree!

So now I am ready to reacquire my zest for writing!  Hopefully I won’t indulge my habit of constantly of wandering onto a tangent and will be able to vigilantly maintain my focus.  I have determined that Netflix marathons from this day forth will be treated as a special treat like chocolate cake.  Only to be allowed once a month.  Well maybe twice.  Umm, ok once a week.  Wait, I heard Chocolate cake…  ummm…

(Slowly her eyes drift to the countertop where rests a chocolate cake purchased just this morning from the wonderful little bakery down on main street.)

Be right back!

(Daintily she dabs the corner of her mouth to remove any trace of the luscious chocolate cake she had just tasted.  She gently brushes any crumbs from her chest.  She quickly wipes the glob of chocolate frosting dripping from her chin and sheepishly wonders how she managed to smear chocolate all the way up onto her forehead.  As she is cleaning the last of the chocolate from her glasses she sees the remnants of the beautiful cake she had purchased just this morning and wondered how it could have been so disheveled from her removing such a small, tiny, little slice!)

Sorry about that, I’m back now.  As I was saying, hiatus.

Hmmm, I wonder what the origin of the word Hiatus is.  Is it perhaps Latin?  Many of our modern words are based in Latin after all.  It has a tendency, in my mind anyway, to sound oriental in nature.  Like the Japanese word Haiku.  But if the origin was based on what it sounded like then the word hiatus might have come from Haiti.

Haiti is an island in the Caribbean that invites relaxation and a cessation of everyday responsibilities. Although if I were to go to the Caribbean I am not sure I would choose Haiti.  There is a lot of trouble on that island unfortunately so perhaps I would go to Trinidad, or Grenada, or St. Martinique.  There are so many choices.

I hear that Tobago has…..  Uh oh.  I drifted off onto a tangent.  Focus! Lori, Focus!!!

Ok back to hiatus. I had no intention of discussing Haiti or the Caribbean after all.  I mean really why we would discuss Haiti is an odd assumption unless we were maybe discussing taking a vacation to the Caribbean.  Really, who could afford a trip to the Caribbean?  Although taking a cruise is actually a fairly good deal financially.

The only thing to be concerned about would be the ship sinking, or breaking down.  But they can tow you back to another port using those little tug boats it just takes a while.  Of course you might have issues with plumbing backing up or an epidemic among the passengers and crew.  But over all their record is sound.  (They bury the bodies at sea!)

But they do have some redeeming features on cruises.  They have astounding and amazing buffets.  I have heard you gain 5 lbs. merely looking at the enticing, mouth-watering, over-indulgence called dinner at sea!  I am under the impression that the desert offering are so amazing that no person can possibly walk away without succumbing to the chefs artistry.  The chocolate cake must be majestic!

Chocolate cake?  Umm   be right back…

(Good Lord she thinks to herself as she rinses the chocolate from her bangs.  Hope no one sees me as she tries diligently to get the cake out, that somehow made its way into her ear. I have a problem she thinks as she finally erases all evidence of the assault she made onto the poor, unassuming, delicious, wonderful, siren of a chocolate cake that is rapidly disappearing.)

Darn it!  I did it again!  My topic is Hiatus!  I shouldn’t be talking about cruises or buffets.  I mean it’s just a vacation after all which I suppose is a hiatus but that’s not what I wanted to talk about.  Shoot, if I started discussing a vacation cruise I would talk about how I would love to go on a cruise to Cozumel Mexico.

I read about a trip they offer in Cozumel when you’re on one of these cruises that offers a tour of a tequila factory.  How cool would it be to be allowed to wander through a place that manufactures one of life’s most glorious, splendid, life affirming, liquids?  So what if it has a tendency to make you forget why you drank that first shot, it is worth it.

Just think, you can tour the tequila factory, then take a wild, (Probably drunken) hazy tour of the countryside, then languish on the beach while a shockingly handsome, Latin cabana boy brings you the umbrella studded drinks filled with the tequila that you, more than likely, purchased during that tour of the factory, while you hint at his returning with you to your cabin for a night of wild, passionate … exercise.

However, you probably won’t remember everything that happens but like most people on a cruise someone will take photos and remind (Embarrass) you that the cabana boy was probably pushing 70, and not Latin any way.  (Don’t worry; he wouldn’t have a pass to get on the ship so you would probably be ok!)

Now if you indulged quite a bit during the tequila tour you might also have found someone to share the evening with on the ship such as a wonderfully handsome Latin cabana boy during the phenomenal dinner buffet and he may have been serving chocolate cake…

Chocolate cake ummm

Once again her eyes greedily, guiltily shift to the remnants of the once beautiful chocolate cake. She sighs with satisfaction as she squelches a belch.

Alright I give up!  I cannot seem to write about hiatus.  So I am going to go pick up some coffee (and another cake) from the bakery down on Main Street, grab some brochures on a cruise to Cozumel and invite the cute Latin waiter at the bakery home to watch a few hours of Bones with me on Netflix!  Don’t Judge Me!!!

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